stupid Marlins (7-8) are managed by stupid Ozzie Guillen. He’s got a big stupid manager contract and this is his first year in stupid Miami, so barring any PR gaffes, his seat is pretty cool.
Here’s what the Marlins
stupid lineup looks like:
SS – Jose Reyes – S
CF – Emilio Bonafacio – S
3B – Hanley Ramirez – R
RF – Giancarlo Stanton – R
LF – Logan Morrison – L
1B – Gaby Sanchez – R
2B – Omar Infante – R
C – John Buck – R
stupid lineup has struggled early in the season. Stupid Jose Reyes — sapped of his hair and his powers — stupid Giancarlo Stanton, stupid Gaby Sanchez, and stupid John Buck have started slowly, leaving stupid Hanley Ramirez and stupid Omar Infante to carry the offense. The Marlins’ lineup should prove all right, though not special: Stanton, Ramirez, and Reyes are good hitters relative to their positions, but the rest of the lineup looks average-to-weak. The Marlins’ stupid bench lacks depth, and an injury to any of the three big hitters might make for an unhappy summer in stupid Miami. If such a thing were possible.
And I’m done. Here’s the pitching matchups:
- Tuesday Night: Johan Santana vs RHP Josh Johnson. Johnson has surrendered 28 hits and struck out eight over his first three starts. Pitch f/x claims his fastball is still a few ticks slower than it was in 2010, but it was slow last season and he pitched well in those nine starts. Then he missed the rest of the year on the DL. Johnson is one of the best if healthy, but how many pitchers can you say that about . . .
- Wednesday Night: R.A. Dickey vs LHP Mark Buehrle. Buehrle, a changeup artist, has walked two batters, through his first three NL starts and has a 2.66 ERA. As noted on yesterday’s SNY broadcast, Dickey works fast, Buehrle works fast, so if both are on their respective games, be prepared for a quick one.
- Thursday Afternoon: Jon Niese vs RHP Ricky Nolasco. A battle of the FIP-underperformers! Nolasco has a 4.49 career ERA and a 3.83 FIP; Niese has 4.32 ERA and a 3.73 FIP. Be prepared for low strand rates, high batting averages against on balls in play, and mounting frustration on the part of your sabermetrically-inclined friends who drafted either pitcher for their fantasy teams.
Heath Bell closes for the Marlins. He’s 2-4 saving games thus far. Alternatively, he’s 2-4 blowing saves thus far.
There’s some stuff about the